Greg Pirtle is one of the Student Ministers at the Greenville Oaks Church of Christ. He has undergraduate and graduate degrees from Abilene Christian University. Greg has served youth and families for nearly 15 years. And he is one of the staff members I get to work with beginning next week.
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Time at the Table
I will never forget the words I heard from a friend years
ago. I was 17 and it seemed to be
another typical phone conversation that high school guys have – sports, school,
girls – talking about things that seem so important at the time, but aren’t
life changing. At some point though, I
don’t remember how or why, the discussion took a turn and he said something
that has remained with me for over 20 years now.
“You don’t know how lucky you are, Greg.” “What do you mean?” I asked. His reply…
“You get to sit and eat dinner with your family.”
That’s it. That’s the
life-changing sentence I recall, from one high school guy to another. Eating together was a regular practice in my
home growing up, but I never considered the importance of it until that
moment. And I never questioned it again.
I understand that when my friend was young, his family went
through some difficult times, but he lived with godly, loving grandparents who
took him to church and provided for him. It may have been a longing for his birthparents or wanting more
attention from his grandparents, but of all the things he desired, it was to
sit down at the table and eat dinner with his family.
It’s the secret ingredient that no one talks about, yet many
statistics include. There are numerous
studies showing that sharing meals as a family has a positive correlation in
the values and habits of children and adolescents. No real explanations exist for why this is
the case, but the evidence is pretty solid.
That alone should be enough to make eating together a
priority, but I think there is something deeper. I believe there is a reason we often see
Jesus eating with others and why the table is symbolic in our faith.
The table is the one place where everyone is equal. It’s the place where everyone shares a need
to be fed. It’s the place where everyone
serves and is served. It’s the place
where we are reminded that God is the one who provides. It’s the place where we reconnect with God
and the people we love.
To show up at the table means you’re committed to being a
part of the family. The value and
affirmation of each individual is highlighted in the conversation and
experience. The bond of the collective
group is strengthened and confirmed.
Every meal is different. There are days where everyone is talking, sharing, laughing and enjoying
the time together, and days where it seems way too loud and chaotic to be
productive. Occasionally, the presence
of a guest blesses our table and it gives us a chance to offer hospitality and
enjoy time with friends. Some days no
one wants to talk or some of us, maybe none of us really want to be there. Other days, one of us can’t be there, but
those present still remember that person and anxiously await their return. Sometimes it doesn’t happen at all. Then, there are those days where someone becomes
vulnerable and shares their heart – their joy, pain, disappointment, or hope –
and we celebrate, cry, listen, encourage or do whatever seems natural to do in
that moment.
The Internet is filled with ideas for making family dinner
easy and fun, but our family has a few things we try to do. We always pray. We always share something about our day. We always eat. We always clean up together. That’s about it. Occasionally we’ll do different things like
come up with fun questions to ask each other or eat out in the back yard (you
can tell our family likes to live on the wild side), but it’s simple and it
works for us. Regardless of what we do,
just being together feels…sacred.
I understand this practice is easier to begin when children
are younger. I also understand that
people are extremely busy and finding time to be together as a family in any
location can be difficult. But let me
encourage you to remember the words of my friend and his longing to sit at the
table and share a meal with his family…and may your time at the table be full.
